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There are stories you never expect to tell and journeys you never imagine walking. Ours is shaped by loss, love, and a hope that—somehow—has kept our family standing when everything else felt like it was falling apart.
We are Chanda and Levi. For years, we have carried a deep longing for another child alongside unimaginable loss. Chanda has been pregnant twenty times. Only four pregnancies reached term, and today we are raising three living sons-who are incredible.
We have experienced 17 pregnancy losses.
One of them was our daughter, Ella, whom we carried to 40 weeks, in the middle of what became 10 consecutive losses. We lost her during the week of Chanda’s birthday—a time once meant for celebration, now forever marked by grief. Each year, that week returns and is one of the most painful markers in our lives. Ella was deeply wanted, fiercely loved, and she will always be a part of our story. Her baby clothes and blankets are still carefully kept, waiting to be used by another baby.
Her loss changed everything—including our children.
Our boys have grown up alongside hope and heartbreak. They’ve celebrated pregnancies that never came home and learned grief before they had words for it, including attending their sister’s memorial. Our youngest cries about wanting to be a big brother, asking why he’s the only one who hasn’t gotten to experience what his brothers already have. Watching him wait has been one of the hardest parts of this journey.
And yet, we are still here—together.
Loss has woven us closer. We’ve learned how to hold each other’s pain, communicate on hard days, and keep choosing love when it would be easier to shut down. We’ve taught our boys to take life one step at a time and trust that we can get through hard things together. Hope hasn’t erased our hurt, but it has held us together. We are strong—but we are also hurting collectively—and there remains a space in our family that longs to be filled.
In the months after Ella’s loss, Chanda underwent heart surgery while our family was still shattered by grief. Levi took time off to care for our family. We didn’t start a GoFundMe. We didn’t ask for help. Even when recovery required keeping Chanda’s heart rate under 100 for nearly a year—while farming and raising three boys—we carried it quietly.
When Ella died, we didn’t ask for help then either.
We believed strength meant carrying grief alone. That choice came at a cost. Grief carried privately is heavy—and lonely. Still, one thing never changed: our belief that our family was not finished. Loss continued to follow us, grief stacking upon grief.
Since Ella, we now have medically diagnosed answers. Despite extensive treatment and intense monitoring—blood draws every 48 hours, hormone and blood thinner injections, and doing everything medically possible—loss continued to find us again and again.
So now, we are choosing a different path.
After years of soul-searching and medical consultations, we are turning toward surrogacy. This is not about replacing what we lost—nothing could ever replace Ella. This is about completing our family, continuing to heal, and giving our children—and ourselves—the chance to move forward while honoring what we carry.
At this point, short of selling our souls, Levi said simply, “Whatever it takes.”
We are now establishing care with Pacific Northwest Fertility in Seattle, a clinic we trust deeply. This path is hopeful—and it is expensive. More than we can do alone.
For the first time, we are asking for help. After years of heartbreak and perseverance, we have reached a place of humility. We have carried so much on our own for so long. But we believe in the power of community—in compassion, shared humanity, and the understanding that sometimes people simply need support.
We are not asking others to carry this for us. We are applying for grants, working with insurance where possible, and Chanda is running a “side-hustle for surrogacy” locally through our family farm—selling fresh sourdough bread, cinnamon rolls, and farm goods, with every dollar going directly toward surrogacy costs. We will also be offering raffle tickets soon as another way to raise funds and invite community involvement.
Every contribution—whether donating, purchasing from our farm, joining the raffle, or sharing our story—moves us closer to covering the medical, legal, and surrogate expenses required to bring a baby home and help us move forward. Asking for help now is not a lack of effort—it is an act of honesty.
If you are still reading this, thank you. We didn’t ask for help when we were drowning. We carried unimaginable loss alone for years. We are asking now, not because we are weak, but because we are ready to let help in.
Your compassion helps a family who has carried so much learn how to receive—after living through so much.
With gratitude,
Chanda & Levi, and the Boys
If you feel called to help, there are a few meaningful ways to walk along side us in this season.
One way is to donate directly through Gift of Parenthood, where you can contribute through their secure crowdfunding platform.
These 3″ custom stickers are also available to purchase at our farmstand in memory of our sweet baby girl Ellianna Esamae Wirtz. All proceeds help us carry her legacy forward.
Each order supports our family as we complete our family through surrogacy, baking to build our family.We use Organic and European ingredients, along with a naturally fermented sourdough levain.
All items are available by pre-order only, made fresh in small batches, made to order, and ready for pickup at our farmstand during scheduled pickup times when you place your order.
Thank you for supporting our family in our journey.
Our Artisan Family Farm offers artisan foods and farm goods, from sourdough and baked treats to soaps, lotions, eggs, goat milk, and farm merch. All profits go directly toward surrogacy-related costs.
All of our products are rooted in organic and sustainable practices sourcing organic and European ingredients when possible and choosing packaging that earth friendly.
We invite you to bring a piece of our farm home today and support our family farm.
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